Sara sans "h"

The day after Christmas, I moved into my new apartment. It is a small efficiency, but it is plenty of room for a girl that has spent the last four years of her life sharing a space half that size with a roommate.

One drawback: the apartment is handicap accessible. This means that all of the light switches are lower (stand up with your arms limp by your side: where your hands fall is about the height of all of them, unless you are a legal midget, in which case look straight ahead and pretend your face is your hand)

More evidence of the handicap friendly environment: a shower head that is a full foot shorter than I am. I'm not even that tall of a person, but I can very easily see the wall about the shower head while looking straight ahead.

The simple solution to this issue was buying one of those handheld shower heads that are always a bit higher than the ones normally mounted on the wall. I went, I bought, I felt accomplished.

Attempt to change the shower head #1: I grabbed the six inch wrench from the toolkit my dad gave me for Christmas. It was too small. I tried several times to untwist the shower head with just my hands. No luck.

Attempt to change the shower head #2: I went to a store that shall remain nameless *cough Walmart cough* because I had a giftcard to use only to find out that the only wrench they have besides a 6 inch one is a huge pipe wrench costing $26.99 (more than my giftcard). The nice man behind the counter tells me to just buy the pliers, it would surely give me the grip I need and allow me to untwist whatever may come my way.

I listened to him. Dear god, what was I thinking?

I went home to find out that my hand is not physically strong enough nor large enough to squeeze the pliers and turn them at the same time. DAMN YOU GIRLY HANDS.

Attempt to change the shower head #3: I went to the hardware store. They had the wrench I needed and now I have a shower head that is still too short, but at least I can lift it off and rinse my hair without having to attempt to bend my body like a contortionist. I probably terrified my new neighbors when I finally got the shower head off of the pipe because I let out this war chant: "AHAHAHAH. TAKE THAT YOU CHEAP PIECE OF METAL THAT WILL NEVER FULFILL YOUR DREAMS OF BECOMING A FIRE HYDRANT"

I can only imagine that all shower heads would have to dream about, were they sentient beings, would becoming a fire hydrant. I mean, really, where else is there to go when all you have ever done and will ever do is squirt out water?

1. (Julia posted this on facebook and it came up in my feed) Babies pick up their parents' accents from the womb, and infants are born crying in their native dialect. Researchers found that French newborns cry in a rising French accent, and German babies cry with a characteristic falling inflection.
2. Russian troops didn't leave Poland until 1993.
3. Lead poisoning isn't only a threat to children. Women of childbearing age with high lead levels are more prone to miscarriages, premature birth, birth defects, and developmental problems. (I learned way more about lead poisoning, but this was the most interesting to me.)
4. Only male fireflies can fly.
5. Snapple Fact #870: President Warren G. Harding once lost White House China in a poker game.
6. You can walk roughly six miles inside of Walmart if you go up and down every single aisle once and then do your grocery shopping.
7. Hillary Duff still acts. And she acts in exactly the same fashion as she did in Lizzie McGuire on the Disney Channel. (she made guest appearances in a few episodes of Gossip Girl)


Bonus! Someone tipped my cow this weekend. I suspect the ladybug.