I don't need a dream decoder...

Last night, my dream was so weird. I was with my parents at the presidential debates for the 2012 election. We were in the front row, right in the action of things, and I got to sit next to the Republican candidate. Obama was up for re-election, so I was rooting for him, and I looked to my left and realized that the Republican candidate was Mao ZeDong. He argued with Obama, oddly enough, not in Chinese. The dream was in German, and I kept having to translate for my parents. I don't think any of it was real German, but I still knew exactly what was going on.
I think this dream is indicative of several things:
1. I have been reading about China way too much
2. I have been thinking about German way too much
3. My dream self is too stupid to stop and think about the fact that Mao Zedong is not a natural born citizen, also that he is dead
4. I am already apprehensive of the next presidential election
5. I need to get more sleep overall

I identify with quotes too much

The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think. The way they see themselves. The way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives. That's the only lasting thing you can create.-Choke

You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past.-Survivor

No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention.
Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day.
This is all practice.-Invisible Monsters

All the effort in the world won't matter if you're not inspired.-Diary

If we can forgive what’s been done to us . . .
If we can forgive what we’ve done to others . . . If we can leave all of our stories behind. Our being villains or victims. Only then can we maybe rescue the world.-Haunted

I love Chuck Palahniuk. I want him to be the commencement speaker for my graduation from Knox.

I hate mornings

I walk into work today after only 4 and a half hours of sleep and the first thing Carlos (This man I work with) says is, "your hair looked so much nicer yesterday than today." I love Carlos, he's awesome, so we joked about how terribly my hair looks today for another ten minutes and I went into the computer lab pretending like he had offended me. Who knew an almost insult could actually make your day a little better?
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My ears are going to fall off.

I am sitting in the gizmo on the couch. I have been here for about ten minutes. This guy just got here, sat down at the piano, and has been playing scales. But he doesn't know the notes for the scales, so he just plays the first 5 notes or so and then restarts the same scale. Now he has called his friend to ask him/her what the next note in an E flat scale is. I kind of want to lean over him, play the scale correctly, and tell him there are pianos in CFA he can use. Pianos in relatively sound proof practice rooms.

It's another German Tuesday.

The song manic Monday has been running through my head ever since I thought about the phrase "German Tuesday." I don't even really like that song that much. In fact, I think it is kind of annoying. And people in the office I work at like to say "It's another manic Monday" whenever someone shows up late, which is generally once or twice a day. They even say it when it isn't a Monday. I don't understand.
Today is a German Tuesday, though. It really is a Tuesday. And there really is a lot of German. German class, German club, mandatory German film, studying for the German exam that is on Thursday. Tuesdays are German.
There is a ceramic witch on my desk. She has been here for quite some time. I don't understand why. There is a sticker on her extolling her cost ($7.50) and she is holding a broom. I wonder how much I would be worth if I had a sticker with my price on me.
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And then there was a night like tonight.

Single Ladies night was awesome. Funny movies, good bread and cheese, amazing company, and dancing. Lots of dancing. And calls that caused happiness were received, which makes me happy for those who received them. All in all, an amazing night.
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This is why I should NOT take philosophy classes...

In Death and Life we have discussed many different approaches to life and living a full life. Several of these models are trying to be the most prepared for death, whenever it may occur. Studying these different models has led to my analyzing the majority of the moments in my life, only to get so frustrated with each moment that I decide I hate philosophy all together, only to ask myself why I think that my be an excuse for not wanting to think about my actions, only to think about my actions and whether or not I am implementing them incorrectly and that is why my analysis leads to my "hating" philosophy, only to lead me to another strain of thought, and then another, and so on.

For example, earlier I was in an unpleasant situation. The situation was fine for those around me but quite uncomfortable to me due to historical implications. I removed myself from the situation because there was no way I could find any way to be more comfortable with the situation. After debating with myself for nearly twenty minutes on whether or not to stay or go, I left.

Now, in this situation I debated several possible courses of action, only to determine my leaving to be the best . I could have stayed. The only thing making the situation as difficult to bear was my train of thought. I could have tried to change what I was thinking about, but that seemed like something that takes way more strength than I have. I could have asked that the externalities be altered by those around me, causing them discomfort and my thoughts would still be there. Or, among many other possibilities, I could leave.

Class discussion has been centering around the fact that whatever situation we are in can be pleasant if we focus on the pleasant aspects of it, and unpleasant if we focus on the unpleasant aspects. I agree wholly with the Epicurean view that while a situation may be out of our control we can always control how we react to it. I have even told people this is my personal philosophy for quite some time now, long before I even know the word Epicurean.

My reaction to the situation was to remove myself from it. Not entirely, as my thoughts would still be occupied by the negative thoughts I was being consumed by, but I would at least be able to "enjoy" these negative thoughts in a more comfortable situation (out of the public eye and away from the scrutiny of people that I didn't particularly wish to discuss my weakness with).

Upon leaving, I pondered the sheer force of my own thoughts and how I was allowing them to control my environment. Then I thought about whether or not there could have been pleasantness found in that situation and I just didn't look hard enough, thus letting my life be controlled by a situation that I could have avoided altogether by simply taking a more positive approach to the predicament. Then I started to think about the fact that I was over-thinking my thinking about the situation and that I really just wanted to dwell on the unpleasantness of the situation because I wanted to see if there could be something pleasant about it, only to think about how much I hate it when I get into these kinds of trains of thought only to be consumed nearly entirely.

And then I thought about writing this blog, in a vain attempt to better understand and organize the thoughts that I am having. If you are having a better time of sorting through any of this, let me know. And if you have any advice or anything else for me to ponder, feel free to advise me.

I have started a blog...

After being urged by the lovely people I live with I have determined that starting a blog will be a beneficial adventure for me.
I should be reading homework for my classes, but instead I have done several other things tonight such as:
1. Electrocuting a Sim. I was playing the Sims earlier and the girl wanted to watch television. The television started to spark, so I had her repair it. Long story short, she had no mechanical points and electrocuted herself. This caused her to have a charred appearance and a fire began. She almost died, but I got her to call the fire department and then took a bath to up her hygiene points.
2. Organized my music. I moved it from the c drive to the d drive and had to re-introduce it all to itunes. It took a good forty minutes to get it all back to where it should be.
3. Bonded with my housemates. We decorated a wall in this crazy montage of cards (both of the post and greeting variety), posters, pictures, feathers, flags, scarves, and empty candy containers.
4. Got sorted. I am a Gryffindor.
5. Created this blog.
6. Watched this.
And now, I really should either go to sleep or read. I will probably be going to sleep.