I was chased by a clown last night...

He had a chainsaw. He chased me screaming out of the haunted house.
I had a dream about a clown using a chainsaw to cut a fallen tree last night. He looked very sad, as the tree had fallen in a storm. When I asked him what was wrong, he just said, "Nature always falls down."
I never tend to trust clowns, especially if they have a chainsaw. But this one really felt like a friend.
Dream clown, wherever you may be, don't be sad. Smile!
And be careful of your large feet. I wouldn't want you to trip.

Words, words, words.

Definitions are funny things. There are actual definitions, then there are the connotations we have for things.
For instance, in German there is this concept of a Heimat. It is generally translated to mean homeland, when it really means something more along the lines of a place or situation where you feel comfortable and "at home." My German professor said that because the Nazis used it most Germans stopped using the word because of association. But recently there has been a reappearance of the word being used by minorities trying to express their feelings about Germany. The connotation attached to the word is different from the definition for many people depending on their background.
Then there are phrases like passive aggressive. This blog post is passive aggressive. Asking if someone is acting like they are angry with you is just passive. There's a difference.
Also, we need to talk.

Ob la di, ob la da life goes ooooOOOooonnn!

Having a fever makes you re-evaluate things.

Like, I think I should have more fish in my life. Not the live, swimmy kind. Rather, the cracker kind. I like Goldfish crackers. I kind of want to eat some right now.

Also, picture frames are a good idea. They protect memories. And pictures.
They also make it easy to identify pictures by saying, "There was nothing in that empty space next to me, but here there is a picture that means enough to someone to frame it. PAY ATTENTION TO IT! That is all I have to say."
Picture frames tend to be very verbose.

Then there are coffee tables, which I have deemed pointless to exist.

That is all.

Spontaneous all night road trip!

There is a certain kind of depressing you feel when you are sleep-deprived and driving a car full of sleeping people at 5 am and the song that comes on is "Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel.

And then you crash.

In the sleeping sense.
Not the car sense.

Though I suppose that could happen as well. Thank goodness it didn't.

My roommate is being auctioned off to the highest bidder in just over an hour...

I have learned three things over the past few hours that are very important for EVERYONE to know.
1. I am apparently very good at approaching situations that could go very badly and thinking about them in a non-insane (AKA sane) way. Someone told me today that my problem of over-thinking things really just means that I have less problems to deal with later and that I am probably one of the healthiest people when it comes to decision-making. Woo! Here I was thinking I was a crazy person. I mean, I am still crazy, but only in other ways and not my decision-making ways.

2. German can go and shove itself in an envelope. That's right. It can just make itself into a letter and send itself all the way around the world and back to Germany. I feel like I complain about German on this blog a lot. But there is a lot about German to complain about, so there.

3. I forgot what my third thing was, so obviously it is so important that you know it but I can forget it. Figure out what it was and get back to me. Otherwise you won't get your cookie for the day.

Fun Fact of the day: pearls make you look like a Stepford Wife.

Lost in thought and lost in time...

I got lost in Peoria today. I was shopping for a new winter coat and had to call three separate people to find out where the mall was. Thank goodness for Erin. I would probably still be lost.

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I guess I am old...

Today there was a little boy in the third grade classroom I volunteer in that asked me if I was married. I told him that I wasn't and he asked why. I then explained that I felt that for me, I was too young to be married and maybe will be someday when I am older.

He told me I was already old and asked what I would do if I ran out of time.

How do you respond to something like that?

I love kids.
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Frustration takes on a whole new meaning...

How is it that I can get one major thing that has been complicated sorted out only to have another thing fall apart more?

On an unrelated note, the weather is getting colder. :(

On another unrelated note, it is National Poetry day...Or at least, that is what Twitter trending topics tells me...

Perhaps I should find more evidence to support this claim before repeating it.
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A fireman came to school today...

The first-grader I am tutoring in math begged me to not tutor her today because there was a fireman visiting.

What does he have that I don't have? I'm (relatively) smart, have a pretty yellow skirt on, and can play card games with her. He has nothing on me.

Oh yeah, he fights fires and saves people's lives. I forgot about that.

Long story short, I let her go see his presentation. You can learn math any day, but rarely is it that you get to learn about fire safety.
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I wish I had some pickle chips to eat right now.

There are those moments when you kind of know what you want to say, but have no idea how to say it. I am kind of stuck in one of those moments, but it is more than just not being able to put something into words.
It is this overwhelming feeling that I don't really know what I want to say. I think I know, but then I think about it and it changes. It is this constantly malleable and ambiguous thing that keeps warping into something else entirely.
Basically, I have no clue about my feelings at all at the moment. I had a handle on things about a week or so ago. Things were starting to get to a relatively normal, controllable level of activity.
And then here we are.
And here we go.

The echoing sound of silence

I do nothing productive before I eat my first meal of the day. For instance, I woke up at 9:15 today. My plans for brunch are at 11. So after showering, I just got on my computer and have been checking the various things I check each day. And am now writing a blog.
I am so productive.
But, in other news, I am really happy. This started around 3:30 pm on Friday and has held strong since. I might not be as happy as I think, but I am certainly happier than I have been since, oh say, July-ish. It feels like I am just over-the-moon ecstatic almost.
Now, for a riddle: It's hidden, so you have to find it somewhere on the page. Good luck!