I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else

I thought about going to dinner in the cafeteria, but then I decided not to. My primary reason: I didn't want to struggle with a fork left handed in such a public place.
Instead, I am sitting here, eating my mac 'n cheese, struggling to get the noodles to go on the fork and happy as a clam that I am not in the caf.
Also, writing a paper. Easier done here where my computer calls home.
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Oh I wonder wonder wonder wonder what's in a wonder ball?

I wonder what life would be like if I blogged when I have time to rather than during finals.
It would probably be the kind of place where grass grows purple, elephants weigh the same amount as cotton balls, and money grows on trees.
I need to write the other half of this term paper.

I have my last class of my undergraduate career today...

I feel like I should have some dignified response to this. Instead, all I can think to laugh. Not maniacally. Just laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha ha.
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Metaphors plague my mind.

There is a toy from a happy meal that I distinctly remember: a princess Barbie. It was one of the old school ones they used to have at McDonald's. It had the blonde hair and the body that didn't move at all. But I got it when I was around 6 or so and had it for a very long time. The last time I remember seeing that Barbie was during my senior year of high school while unpacking to move into a new house. 
I haven't seen it since. I don't know where it went, what could have become of it. I may even have simply thrown it away or given it to my niece. Who knows?
I have no real need for it in my life. It's not like I have been desperately needing that piece of cheap plastic from the nineties. I get along fine without it.  
And even though there are no distinct memories I have of that toy, I remember the toy in and of itself distinctly. I don't recall having it during any defining moments, when I got it, or anything else. I just know that I had it. I enjoyed it. It was a comforting item to have in my life.
I am graduating from college in two weeks, and I can't stop thinking about that stupid little happy meal toy. Why is this? 
I don't remember exactly how I got to where I am. Every decision I have made, every person I have become friends with, every last detail of my life has led to me in this moment. There are the toys that I don't really recall being anything spectacular, but I remember them. There are the people in my life that I feel like I couldn't live without. There are people that I thought I couldn't live without, only to have lost them in one way or another and survived. I don't know whether or not this is for the best. I have lost some very good, or what I thought were very good, friends over the past few years. 
Don't get me wrong, there are reasons for this.  Reasons ranging from simply not having enough time for one another to major events taking place, whether misunderstood or just never confronted. There are those people that actively made the decision not to be in life life anymore, and those that passively just faded away. Then there are those people that I decided to cut out of my life for my own reasons.
But I am here on the brink of this major defining life moment, and all I can think about is how maybe I could have picked up the phone one night when I was bored to hang out with someone I genuinely care about but have lost touch with. Or maybe I could have convinced another person that being friends with me is worth it. Or maybe I could have owned up to it and dealt with the situation effectively, rather than being passive aggressive and petty. Or maybe I could have not done whatever it was that made the other person decide to end our friendship.
It's too late for all of that, but that is what is dominating my mind these days when I should be thinking about decision-making theory, Nazi film and propaganda, how interest groups utilize the internet, and the Peace Corps. application. 
This is why I should not be given time to think.

On the other hand, I am now officially in a real sorority. Alpha Sigma Alpha, Theta Nu Chapter, Knox College. Founded May 22, 2010. 
We have little phoenix pins to prove it. 
We rock.

But...It's pink...

Today, I had to use a very small sewing machine that was pink.
It made me think, "if Barbie were to have a sewing machine, I bet this would be it."
I felt very accomplished when I finished the very small sewing task I had set out to do.
It's the little things in life you have to appreciate.