My insanity...

On Chat
Me: If I turn into a vampire and start to get super jealous but you don't know that I am a vampire and I can't tell you do you promise not to break up with me because of the drama it causes?
Him: ......what?
Subject: Also!
MeIf you get mugged in Prague and wind up shot and some french girl nurses you back to health do you promise not to lie to her about your identity and pretend like you are dead to everyone else?
HimI really don't understand.
Me: ...It happened on Gossip Girl...

Curse you, CW! Curse you and your hip, trendy shows!

7 Things I Learned This Week #5

1. 1 in 4 senior citizens use social networking sites specifically to hook up with other senior citizens. I didn't realize that 1 in 4 seniors knew how to use social networking sites.
2. You will spend 6 months of your life stopped at red lights.
3. Only one cast member from Gilligan's island gets residual payments for every episode aired. Dawn Wells (Mary Ann) had the only agent that actually read the section of the contract saying that actors were to receive compensation for only the first four airing of any episode.
4. Snapple fact #867: Franklin Roosevelt was related to 5 U.S. presidents by blood and 6 by marriage.
5. The average bagel actually has 50-100% more calories than a standard glazed donut.
6. Locusts are actually a species of grasshopper.
7. No one crossed the Atlantic in an open-air, wicker-basket hot air balloon until 2003.

Rally to Restore Sanity/March to Keep Fear Alive

That's right. We are putting together a car or two to go to DC to march/rally with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
As an added bonus, I will get to see my boyfriend.
This is going to be the best Halloween weekend ever.

7 Things I learned this week #4

1. (Julia posted this on facebook and it came up in my feed) Babies pick up their parents' accents from the womb, and infants are born crying in their native dialect. Researchers found that French newborns cry in a rising French accent, and German babies cry with a characteristic falling inflection.
2. Russian troops didn't leave Poland until 1993.
3. Lead poisoning isn't only a threat to children. Women of childbearing age with high lead levels are more prone to miscarriages, premature birth, birth defects, and developmental problems. (I learned way more about lead poisoning, but this was the most interesting to me.)
4. Only male fireflies can fly.
5. Snapple Fact #870: President Warren G. Harding once lost White House China in a poker game.
6. You can walk roughly six miles inside of Walmart if you go up and down every single aisle once and then do your grocery shopping.
7. Hillary Duff still acts. And she acts in exactly the same fashion as she did in Lizzie McGuire on the Disney Channel. (she made guest appearances in a few episodes of Gossip Girl)

Bonus! Someone tipped my cow this weekend. I suspect the ladybug.

7 Things I Learned This Week #3

1. Darth Vader needs to switch to Gmail, if only for the spam control. (hint: click the link. It doesn't work if you don't click the link)
2. If you play the game Diplomacy and France decides to just let you take over her territories so she can go play Zelda, make sure she doesn't write "France does whatever Germany says" as her military orders. it's a good way to turn Russia, Great Britain (your boyfriend with whom you were going to share France with anyway), and Austria-Hungary against you.
3. There are two Bronze Turkeys (the travelling trophy up for grabs in the Turkey Bowl between Knox College and Monmouth College every year): the original one from the late 1800s and a replica because the old one has not aged gracefully over the years.
4. If there is radiation or a nuclear attack, I can go to my friendly neighboorhood post office for access to a fallout shelter.
5. Snapple fact #855: Oregon has more ghost towns than any other state.
6. September 11 is an actual national holiday called "Patriot Day." There is a designated moment of silence at 8:46 A.M. to commemorate the victims who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks.
7. There is also a holiday in the spring called "Patriots' Day" to commemorate the first anniversary of the Revolutionary War. It was on this holiday that the Oklahoma City Bombing happened.

I got shot. Twice.

I just got two shots, one in each arm.
I shouldn't be dying of tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis, measles, mumps, or rubella any time soon.
Our staff nurse here at the health department was very excited to shoot us all up. I think it is her secret plan to be able to take over the health department and rule Warren County.
If I die from some mysterious poison or something, it was her.

Golden booties!

I am participating in this walking competition for Warren County through the health department where I work, and I was the top walker this week with 168,000+ steps.

For weeks I have coveted the traveling trophy golden shoes. I have seen them pass hands from one person to the next. Even one of my teammates got to call them hers for a week.

And now they are mine. MINE! (insert maniacal laughter here). I have big plans for these little shoes…

They will sit on my desk between the cow and the kung fu troll in all their golden glory.

Seven Things I Learned This Week #2

1. Opossum and possum are both correct spellings for the same animal. The "o" is to indicate that the animal being referred to is from the western hemisphere.
2. Groundhogs are the same as woodchucks. And apparently people also call them whistle pigs because of a high-pitched whistle they make. (I vote we call February 2 Whistle Pig Day)
I swear this isn't just going to be about rodents (are possums rodents?
3. Dendrophobia is the technical name for fear of trees
4. All toys are ninjas (see Toy Story 3 and you will understand)
5. Skin cancer is the most common form of cancer in the United States, but your odds of surviving it are much higher. So while the sun can be just as dangerous as cigarettes, it's not quite as deadly if you get treatment.
6. September 4th is Newspaper Carrier Day, the day all paper boys are celebrated for delivering the news. 
7. Pit Bulls and Chihuahuas can cross breed to have a puppy. That poor Chihuahua. (what to call them? Pithuahuas or chihuabulls?